FUNNY FOR YOU

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........


My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

///////////////

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

//////////////

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

///////////////////
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

###############
Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


***************
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!



When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


////////////////
We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

=========
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday

So we're having you put to sleep.

)))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.