Back grounds links. A couple of Laughs
While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in thesummer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning ofwinter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeerretain their antlers till after they give birth in thespring.,Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depictingSanta's reindeer,
We should've known...
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible-- Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season.
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the
following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC
(the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make
tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden
(it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and
through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a
Frosty the Blowman was a horny, happy soul, with a corncob cock and
A button nose, and two nads made out of coal.
Frosty the Blowman is a fairy tale they say, he was made of snow, but
The children know, how he came to fuck one day.
There must have been some magic in that old silk thong they found, for
When they placed it up his crack, he began to dance around.
Frosty the Blowman was aroused as he could be, and the children say he
Could touch and play, just the same as you and me.
Frosty the Blowman knew that he was hot that day, so he said lets run
And we'll have some fun, now before I melt away.
Down to the village with a broomstick in his ass, running here and there,
All around the square, passing blowman gas.
He led them down the streets of town right to a bank of snow, he
Made them get down on their knees and then he hollered BLOW!
Frosty the Blowman had to hurry on his way but he waved good-bye
Saying don't you cry I'll be back to fuck someday!!
Humpity hump hump, humpity hump hump, look at Frosty go!
Humpity hump hump, humpity hump hump, with his mama down below!