ODDS N ENDS

Really Slick Screen Savers by Terry Welsh (mogumbo).

Even if you don't use a screen saver, you might want to download a few of these impressive *.scr files for Windows. No need to install them. Just double-click the file and watch the show. The one called Skyrocket even has sound.




The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favourite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart.


The only automated face reader in the world: Face Analyzer.


Instructions:
1) Take a clear front shot of your face with even indoor lighting.
2) Click the Browse button and select your picture.
3) Press Submit.

Have not tried this yet...if anyone does let me know how accurate it is!!!

A good one for the kids: Bembo's Zoo. .