You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench .
The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.