Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
BEST OUT-OF-OFFICE E-MAIL REPLIES
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you
if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am
out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't
have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless
emails you send me until I return from vacation on September
30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each
additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
connection and is unable to deliver this message.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see
how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added
to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and
can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7. I've run away to join a different circus.
A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody.
Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr.
Thompson, the town skeptic.
Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this 'miracle doctor'
to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time
for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost
my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya
goin' to do?"
The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a
little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."
So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to
taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!"
yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson,"
said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.
One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the
doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a
new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can't remember anything!" Thinking
had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his
mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is
jar number 47, it's......"
But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr.
Thompson was cured and fled the room!
A study published in "Neurology" says people who snore are more prone
getting headaches. No reason is given.
But could it be on account of their spouses hitting them in the head
night long trying to get them to stop snoring?
An elderly Jewish man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken
and decides that he needs to see a doctor.
In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the
doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor
is a specialist.
The man replies that the doctor specializes in 'everything' .
The Jewish man thinks about this and looks nervous. He asks the man if
the doctor's fees are expensive.
The man says:
"Well, he is and he isn't. You see, he charges you one thousand
for your first visit."
The Jewish man looks even more worried now and exclaims in amazement,
"A thousand dollars?"
The man replies,
"Yes, but all your visits after that for the rest of your life are
The Jewish man thinks about this, and then gets called by the nurse to
go in to see the doctor.
On entering the doctor's office he says casually,
"Hello doctor, here I am again!"
Growing old can be soooo hard at times....
Yesterday, I got Preparation "H" mixed up with Poli-Grip
Now I walk funny.....but my gums don't itch.
My niece bought her five-year old daughter, Kayleigh, a hamster. One
he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside-down and
finally found him. Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school,
My niece searched frantically, but sadly, never found the little
critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece
took the cage out of her room.
When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into
"We have a serious problem," she announced. "Not only is my hamster
again, but this time he took his cage along!"
A guy meets a childhood pal.
"What are you doing for yourself these days?"
"I'm a fireman."
"Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman."
"Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to
install in your house a pole that will go to the
basement so your kid can practice, 'cause the hardest
thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and
catch that pole in the middle of the night."
Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.
"Well, did your son become a fireman?"
"No, but I have two daughters who are "dancers."
Real Canadian Poutine Recipe
Predicting Weather using a Pig Spleen
http://www.almanac. com/weathercente r/pigspleen. html
http://exn.ca/ Bugs/home. cfm
http://www.agilityn ut.com/roadside. html
Two sea monsters were swimming around the ocean, looking for something
to do. They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes. Bob,
the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and
everything on the ship.
A little while later, they came up to another ship, again hauling
potatoes. Bob again capsizes the ship and eats everything on board.
The third ship they found was also hauling potatoes and Bob once again
capsized it and ate everything.
Finally his buddy Bill asked him,
"Why do you keep tipping over those ships full of potatoes and eating
everything on board?"
"I wish I hadn't, but I just can't help myself once I start. Everyone
knows you can't eat just one potato ship."
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
So Long Church/State Separation: University of Michigan to Fund Muslim Footbaths
TAX DOLLARS FUNDING MUSLIM FOOTBATHS
May 30, 2007
EXCLUSIVE: So Long Church/State Separation: University of Michigan to Fund Muslim Footbaths
By Debbie Schlussel
**** EXCLUSIVE: Must cite Debbie Schlussel and/or DebbieSchlussel.com (that means you, Sean Hannity and World Net Daily) ****
Forget about the Constitutionally mandated separation of church and state . . . at least when it comes to mosque and state.
When students return in the fall, the University of Michigan-Dearbornistan is set to have Muslim footbaths in at least two locations.
And your tax funds are paying for it.
Last week, Kay Pepin, University of Michigan-Dearborn Director of Facilities Planning, and Terry Gallagher, a U of M-Dearborn spokesman, confirmed to me that plans are in the works to build Muslim footbaths (they refer to them as "foot-washing stations") in both the University Center and Fairlane Center buildings at the university.
When I asked why the footbaths were being installed, Gallagher told me that this is "an accommodation to a significant portion of our student body and their friends and visitors in accordance with our mission." He said that it is a growing trend with Boston University, Cal State-Fullerton, University of Wisconsin-Madison, and Washington University of St. Louis, all installing footbaths. "We wanted to be part of that trend in accommodating Muslim students."
But when I asked Gallagher what portion of the U-M Dearborn is Muslim, he said that the most recent information the school has is from a 2004 survey of incoming freshman. The survey only identified 11% of students as Muslims, whereas 37% of incoming freshman were Roman Catholic. When I asked if there was any accommodation or money spent on Catholic students, he could not identify any.
the result of "years of ongoing negotiations with the Muslim Student Association." The Chicago Tribune exposed the radical Muslim Student Association (MSA) as an American branch of the Egyptian terrorist group, Muslim Brotherhood, which took part in the murder of Egyptian President Anwar El-Sadat as well as the shootings at the Temples at Luxor.
Gallagher insists that he's confident that "none of our Muslim students is involved in terrorism." But last year, I received numerous death, rape and torture threats against me, my parents, and grandparents from University of Michigan-Dearborn student Lola Elzein, a Lebanese Shi'ite Muslim. Ms. Elzein was visited by the FBI and admitted to making the threats. Mohammed Fouad Abdallah, another Lebanese Shi'ite Muslim, used University of Michigan-Dearborn computers to send me rape, torture, and death threats in the name of Hezbollah. His home was raided by four FBI agents, and he admitted to making the threats.
And last week, Syed Maaz Shah--a student who was Secretary of the Muslim Student Association at the University of Texas-Dallas--was convicted of illegally possessing firearms when he attended a Muslim terrorist training camp and sought to kill Americans.
The University of Michigan MSA has a Muslim Accommodations Task Force, which was headed by Nadia Bazzy of the infamous Hezbollah-supporting Lebanese Shi'ite Bazzy family. Many Bazzys have been involved in Hezbollah there--and here. And the MSA Muslim Accommodations Task Force has more goals in mind:
Ramadan Iftar Accommodations; Eid Holidays; Prayer Room and Break Accommodations; Faculty Sensitivity Training; Jummah; Surveys / Advocacy; Halal Food
The MSA of U of M-Dearborn says that a "Reflection Room" was established for Muslim students, at MSA's request. I wonder what would happen if Christian or Jewish students went there to pray or hang out.
Gallagher confirmed that University of Michigan-Dearborn Vice Chancellor Robert G. Behrens made the decision to install the footbaths. Behrens was the sole decisionmaker. He did not have to go before a committee of University Regents to get the approval or consult with anyone else.
Behrens refused to speak with me regarding this Unconstitutional waste of tax dollars on behalf of the "Religion of Peace," but his secretary, Judy Modelski, had some interesting talking points to try to dissuade me from thinking this was a Muslim footbath. "It can also be used for changing diapers of and washing babies," she told me. "And there's a third use, but I can't remember what it is."
But spokesman Gallagher confirmed that there is no other use for the footbaths, other than for Muslims to wash their feet before prayer. You'd think they'd get their stories straight at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. Regardless, what mother would wash her baby in a deep bath where people washed their feet and the baby could drown? And what person would wash their feet in a bath where diapers had been changed? It simply doesn't make sense.
In a letter to an angry alumnus, Vice Chancellor Behrens wrote that the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor construction, in 1841, of a chapel makes these Muslim footbaths okay. But that was a non-denominational chapel where anyone could go for any reason, even for non-religious purposes. As U-M/Dearborn spokesman Gallagher acknowledged, these footbaths are being built as an accommodation to Muslims and no other religion uses them.
When I asked Gallagher why a religious accommodation was being made for Muslims, he informed me that if another religion approaches U of M-D, it will consider the request. But universities are constitutionally barred from endorsing a religion or even two religions.
The footbaths, so far, will cost $27,000 to install. But count on it to cost more. Since only one set of footbaths is being installed at each of the two locations, Gallagher confirmed to me that each will be installed in only one bathroom. That means that, in order to comply with laws against gender discrimination, each sex will be entitled to a footbath in its respective bathroom. Expect the cost to double to at least $54,000--$54,000 of tax money spent for a religious accommodation in violation of the separation between church and state.
That money is coming from the University of Michigan-Dearborn general fund. That means, if you are a taxpayer, you're paying for them, as the general fund is made up of federal and state monies and paid tuition fees.
$2,000 of that has already been spent, paying architectural firm Niagara Murano, LLC, of swanky Birmingham, Michigan to "design" the footbaths. When I asked why an architectural firm was needed instead of a plumber, Gallagher told me that an architect was consulted to make the footbaths compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Amazing. They care about compliance with all of the other laws, just not the most important one--the Constitutional prohibition of establishing a national religion.
I asked Gallagher if he's aware that these footbaths are likely to be the subject of a lawsuit by some brave Michigan taxpayer, who detests being forced to fund Islam and the demands of an American manifestation of the Muslim Brotherhood.
He said, "We're prepared to defend that if it happens." That means more of your tax dollars at work for the "Religion of Peace."
The question is: Where and when will a Michigan taxpayer finally say enough is enough and file suit? Will the ACLU take the case? (Fat chance.)
And when will America wake up?
Contact University of Michigan-Dearborn Vice Chancellor Robert G. Behrens to protest the Unconstitutional public funding of Muslim footbaths:
Office of the Vice Chancellor
Robert G Behrens
1090 Administration Building
Dearborn, MI 48128
Phone: (313) 593-5110
And, if you live in Michigan, contact your state legislators, as well.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Jesus And The Jerks
by Jon Walker
“But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV)
Jerk: A person regarded as disagreeable, contemptible, especially as the result of foolish or mean behavior.
One of the biggest jerks I ever knew was a 23-year-old college graduate whose anger and arrogance spilled into many of his relationships. His hypocrisy was astounding – one moment he claimed to be a Christian and the next he acted like a son of hell. If it had been my choice, I would have avoided him all together – but since that jerk was me, I was stuck being around him!
Most of us try to avoid jerks. We pat ourselves on the back for not telling them off. We applaud ourselves for putting up with them. We remind ourselves everybody has a cross to bear, and so we grudgingly accept certain jerks as our divinely ordained burden.
But is that what we’re called to do?
Jesus embraced jerks; he graced them with love – while stilling telling them the truth in love. Now he had no qualms about pointing out a whitewashed tomb when he saw one, but the corporate evil of the Pharisees was a far more serious matter than mere human jerkiness.
The point is this: Jesus didn’t shelter himself from the pain and heartache caused by jerks. In fact, he voluntarily stretched out his arms on the cross and allowed several jerks to slam nails into his hands and feet.
Behind all their stomp and snort, jerks are still spiritual beings, created in God's image and destined for heaven or hell. We’re compelled to be ministers of reconciliation, willing to embrace the pain of a fallen world for the sake of our God. (2 Corinthians 5:16-21)
The heart of the gospel is that God loves the unlovely. Could it be that the jerks God places in our lives are there to teach us to be more like Christ, to teach us the God-like quality of loving the unlovely?
Most of us take for granted the incredible change God initiated in our own lives: We were once jerks to God, yet even while we were still jerks, Christ died for us!
Jerks are never easy to embrace. If it were easy to love everyone, then Christ need not have died; we could love them on our own. But in order to embrace the jerks in our life, we need the Life of Christ within us so that, as new creations, we can overwhelm jerks with God’s grace, showing them the only power that will stop them from stumbling in the darkness, teaching them to cling to the only thing able to move them from being jerks to being Jesus-followers.
· Jesus loves jerks too – Even the most difficult people are spiritual beings in need of Christ.
· Jesus transforms you – Jesus can use the “jerks” in your life to transform you into a more Christ-like believer. Is it possible that the “jerk” who annoys you is God’s instrument to show you areas where you should grow, areas where you have difficulty loving unconditionally, the way that Christ loves you?
· God’s plan for you – If God allows a difficult person in your life, consider that he may want you to (1) pray for them and (2) show them by your own example how much God loves them, regardless of their behavior.
· Your mission – Who in your life seems disagreeable, contemptible, foolish, or mean? How would God have you approach them from now on? What can you do today to show them the love of Christ?
© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
and I want to share it with you. She was over recently
for coffee and smelled the bleach I was using to clean my
toilet and countertops. This is what she told me...
I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain little
ole bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00
at any drug store.
What does bleach cost? My husband has been in the
medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't
tell you about peroxide. Have you ever smelled bleach in
a doctor's office? NO!!! Why? Because it smells, and
it is not healthy! Ask the nurses who work in the doctor's
offices, and ask them if they use bleach at home. They
are wiser and know better!
Did you also know bleach was invented in the
late 40's? It's chlorine, Folks! And it was used to kill
our troops. Peroxide was invented during WI in the
20's. It was used to save and help cleanse the needs
of our troops and hospitals. Please think about this.
1. Take one capful (the little white cap that
comes with the bottle) and hold in your mouth for
10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do it when I
bathe.) No more canker sores and your teeth will be
whiter without expensive pastes. Use it instead of
2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of
peroxide to keep them free of germs.
3. Clean your counters and table tops with
peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply
put a little on your dishrag when you wipe, or
spray it on the counters.
4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board,
pour peroxide on it to kill salmonella and other bacteria.
5. I had fungus on my feet for years until I sprayed
a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water on them (especially
the toes) every night and let dry.
6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five
to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen
gangrene that would not heal with any medicine but was
healed by soaking in peroxide.
7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide
and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect
without harming your septic system like bleach or most
other disinfectants will.
8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with
your 50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, plugged
sinus. It will bubble and help to kill the bacteria. Hold for
a few minutes, and then blow your nose into a tissue.
9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a
dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your
mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a day. The
pain will lessen greatly.
10. And of course, if you like a natural look to your hair,
spray the 50/50 solution on your wet hair after a shower
and comb it through. You will not have the peroxide-burnt
blonde hair like the hair dye packages but more natural
highlights if your hair is a light brown, faddish, or dirty
blonde. It also lightens gradually, so it's not a drastic
11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help rid
boils, fungus, or other skin infections.
12. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of
bleach to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten
them. If there is blood on clothing, pour it directly on the
soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse
with cold water. Repeat if necessary.
13. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors. There is no
smearing, which is why I love it so much for this.
I could go on and on. It is a little brown bottle no home
should be without! With prices of most necessities rising,
I'm glad there's a way to save tons of money in such a
simple, healthy manner!
This information really woke me up. I hope you gain
something from it, too. Pass it on