A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"
"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it." Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette."
An elderly couple was attending church services-- about halfway through she
leans over and says to her husband, "I just let out a silent fart-what do
you think I should do?" He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing
Bill and Harry were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track
when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately. Harry
immediately threw his rod down and started running through the woods
like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden...
After about a half mile Harry stopped and stooped over with his hands on
his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to
"Lets see yer fishin' license, Boy!!" the Warden gasped.
With that, Harry pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box
of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir," replied Harry, "But my friend Willy back there, well, he
doesn't have one..."