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+---- Bizarre Inventions ----+

1. The Tonya Tapper - A personal security steel club named
After the notorious skater; suitable for all knee whack-
Ing purposes.

2. Sweet Jesus Chocolate - Tasty milk chocolate crucifix
Candies that ooze red jelly when bitten.

3. Insecticide Pantyhose - Bug resistant pantyhose sure to
Repel spiders, cockroaches, [and probably dates.]

4. Artificial Spray-On Dirt - For the yuppie whose tired of
Looking wuss in his luxury S.U.V. This is sure to provide
That rugged four-wheeling look.

5. Drive-Through Window at Funeral Homes - For the more
Somber drive-by.

6. .45 Semiautomatic Telephone - A novelty phone sure to
Please the darkest sense of humor. The caller must hold
The gun against their head to make a call; let the fun
Begin.

7. Bird Diaper - For Polly when potty training is not an
Option.

8. Snif-T-Panties - Women's underwear with built in
Fragrance to capture the right mood; scents include
Rose, banana, pickles, pizza and, of course, whiskey.